Positive Discipline for Toddlers

Author: Zechariah Hephzibah

Many Different Kinds of Families 

Parenting is such a challenging and rewarding journey! But, did I mention challenging? Sometimes you may look at other families and feel like they’ve got it all figured out, which can make parenting feel even more overwhelming. It is important to remember that God placed your child with you for a reason. You have your own unique way of parenting, and your child has their own personality. 

Common Behaviors for 3-, 4-, and 5-Year-Olds 

While every child is different, it helps to know that many toddler and preschool behaviors are completely normal and part of the growing process. Clinginess, tantrums, and testing limits are just a few common behaviors children this age display. Of course, it is a parent’s job to gently guide the child so they can learn and grow—but there are things you can do to help. Just know that testing your patience is actually a normal part of development for toddlers and preschoolers. 

Consistency and Clear Expectations 

It’s essential to set clear expectations with toddlers. They are still learning how the world works and need your help to understand the boundaries within your home. It’s easy to become upset when your child does something wrong, but the best approach is to remain calm and stay consistent. Repetition is key. 

If you give rewards for positive behavior, choose something you can maintain consistently, such as a sticker chart or verbal praise. Consistency is the steady feedback that supports your child’s developing self-regulation and understanding of expectations. 

Teach Them to Regulate Early 

Toddlers are the perfect age to learn simple breathing techniques and counting strategies. One easy technique is “balloon breaths.” Have them lift their arms in the shape of a balloon as they breathe in, then slowly lower them as the balloon “deflates” when they breathe out. Practice this 5–10 times together to show how breathing can help the body and mind stay calm. 

Be Mindful of What Influences Your Child 

Parents are a child’s first teachers, and this includes teaching them how to process emotions. When you get upset, be mindful of the example you’re setting. If you want your child to pause and think about their feelings, make sure you’re modeling what that looks like. Also, pay attention to the people your child spends time with (and the media they consume) to ensure they are receiving the examples you want for them.